I’m sitting in Allen on the second floor, my usual spot.
I was bracing myself for this week—each day over the weekend I was praying for productivity and peace. Nothing too dramatic is happening—just midterms, a few homework assignments and a story for the newspaper. Normal day-to-day, week four things. Still, I drafted a map of my schedule, and the meetings, interviews and study hours needed to keep up with all the shenanigans seemed more than overwhelming. I prayed more.
Yet, today I am sitting here, in my surprisingly comfortable Allen chair, and God is wiping away every worry and replacing it with confidence.
I’m listening to old-school Maroon 5 (they are quite possibly one of my favorite bands of all time), and I am feeling so encouraged. You know those songs that have absolutely no relevance to your current situation, yet the tone and melody still get you feeling some type of way? Yeah, that’s this song—that’s me right now. I’m movin’ and groovin’ and feeling ready to take this week by the horns.
Weeks like this are the ones that refine me. They start out scary, but before things really unravel I’m able to choose how I want to handle them. I can complain and fret and stress-eat too many bagels, or I can make a game plan and shift my perspective to be one of clarity and drive.
It’s almost too easy to run through the week in a fit of distraction—to spider-crawl my way through each meeting and interview and assignment without ever coming up for air. I have a habit of thinking new thoughts before I finish processing through the former ones. I’m left with a whole lot of scattered pieces, yet nothing in my brain is whole.
I’m not doing that this week, not again.
I woke up today and God had already begun answering my desperate weekend prayers. He orchestrated run-ins with friends on campus, speeded up some email responses I was waiting on and blessed me with encouraging feedback from my instructor on a story I had written for class.
Refinement is already happening.
The stacked schedule and high-pressure assignments will make me a better student, writer and version of myself. They will force me to bring myself back to God every day. To wake up extra early and rest in His safety, security and stability.
This entire season of life is an answered prayer. The dreams, passion and fire within me are sweet reminders of my liberty and purpose—and the ability to act on them is nothing short of a gift. So what makes me think God is going to up and leave me now? All he wants is for me to let Him into my modge-podge of busyness and bliss. He wants to be my home base, to be the one I draw my strength from.
I know it is just another school week, I don’t mean to over-dramatize this whole situation. Yet, I am reiterating how important it is to lift the load off of ourselves and hand it over to God. To trust Him and know that each week won’t work out perfectly well—there might be ones that leave us feeling like God was playing a game of opposites with our prayers. But still, He is on our team. He has the power to move and mold our lives in radical ways, and I believe His intentions are good.
Here’s to adding up all the anxiousness and converting it to strength. I am going to put my head down, work hard this week—and I will be better because of it.
Happy Monday Ya’ll!
… And for those of you who were wondering—I was listening to “Won’t Go Home Without You” by Maroon 5 on repeat the whole time I wrote this blog post (: